Part of me
by Rosirinoa
Summary: What Kaname was thinking when he left Yuuki with Kaien? All those feelings and plans he would have to make start at that very moment.


_**My first Vampire Knight fic, and also the first I write in English, without translating it from Spanish ;) I really like Kaname's caring feelings for Yuuki, even if she isn't my favorite character, he is complex and intriguing, so far my favorite and fun to write about. Hope you enjoy it!**_

Everything was over, at least for the moment. Rido wouldn't be after Yuuki for many years. Even if I couldn't give him the final blow, I was able to stop him until I planned an adequate strategy to finally kill him. I know I'll always remember this snowy night, despite the results in the future, I won't forget what I lost… what was taken from me.

My little sister won't be hurt, she will always be safe, even if that means she living in a world different than mine, away from me; this is my oath since that day.

I needed to make sure she stays in a safe place, where she could have a normal life, away from all this madness and without blood on her hands, protected from the hunting vampires. There is just too much at risk here, even now, since nobody knows about her... no one but… Kaien Cross, I thought that at the very least he would suspect something but he is the only chance I had. Then it was decided, I could leave her with him until the day I set the scenario for her coming back, after all he is… or was, a good friend of the family.

There was just this horrible feeling I got since that day, this guilt and sorrow that stains my heart…a rotten heart. I wonder if it could be eased somehow, and if I deserve it. At the moment I needed to get Yuuki, hoping she would still be in the house.

As I walked, slowly through the night and snow that never felt so real or thick in my skin, I sensed a presence and I smell blood near the mansion. My heart stopped and I froze to the very thought of my little sister being in danger, so I rushed back until I found her screaming in front of that hideous vampire, trying to prey on her, but I was quicker. After all, I'm a pureblood and my abilities are superior to the normal vampire. His dead was fast, which I regret now, but I just couldn't show the monster inside me in front of her, not in that moment when she just awoke as a human being, without memories or past to look back.

Thankfully she was not scared of me, I was afraid she would run after seeing that much blood and violence. I wondered how she got there, outside the house with all the snow, then I looked at her, trying to read what she was thinking, and asked if she was right, talking with a soft voice, one that wouldn't show all my feelings. Then she took my hand and hugged me very tightly, just like she used to when everything was peaceful. Her warmth surrounded me and erased that feeling of sorrow and emptiness that I got since I left her, just a couple hours before. I've always wondered how she does that, how she sends peace though all my body and mind, keeping me at ease with one touch.

I took her hand and led her to Kaien's house. It was not very far from the point we were standing, but she got tired soon. She wasn't as strong as she was once, her vampire body went away and she was but a mere human now, so I had to carry her until we got there.

I was sure she didn't have any memories, the little talking we had showed me that and for some reason she trusted me. I wonder if somehow she felt that it was right to be with me or had a vague memory of the bond we shared before. She looked so cute all vulnerable and fragile before my eyes, but suddenly I wanted to cry so badly. I wanted to apologize for not stopping Rido before, for not being able to protect her parents and somehow be responsible for taking away her memories and strength. I was so frustrated because of that. When she was born she became the light and reason of my existence, she gave me so much and I wasn't able to protect her properly.

When we arrived to Kaien's house he was very worried about me and asked me what had happened to my parents. Apparently, hunters have a way to know when things go bath within the vampire world, so I told him what happened, or at least the version he should know for now. He agreed to take care of that little girl I found wandering at the woods, alone and without memory. I think he felt some kind of softness for the little girl; he even gave her a little pudding. She didn't know how to eat it properly so I tried to help her, but she panicked when she saw my fangs. At first I thought she was just curious of them and let her touch them, but the moment she got scared, the reality hit me with cold ambivalence of her situation. I was somehow heartbroken, but I understood it was for the best.

I thought it would be good for her that she never stayed too much in contact with me, so I left quickly after that, but somehow I will manage to be present for her, taking care of her from the shadows of my world, scheming a way to finally kill Rido and bring her back to me, just like it was before.

Before I left the house I said goodbye to her, not being able to hide the pain inside me and mentally sending all my affection. I wonder if Kaien noticed it. From now on, the one in direct charge of her would be him. I couldn't have made a better choice, or that is what I keep telling myself. At least no vampire would harm her when she is near him, and I won't be a bother to her in any ways. I don't want to cause her more pain

After I left the house I turned to see the place where I left her, without any family around to comfort her. How empty and hopeless I felt in that very moment, but I am determined to keep my promise, so I saw the light of the house become smaller as I walked away, somehow trying to tell her to wait for me until the day comes, the day when I'll be able to wake her from her human slumber and my world is a safer place for her; for us. Someday this love I feel inside of me will be free and everything will be how it's supposed to be. Meanwhile, she; Yuuki, will be part of me, an important piece that will remind me of my duties and give meaning to my existence, as I hope I will be part of her someday… someday.


End file.
